Telling Can Happen More Than Once—and That’s Okay

Disclosure is rarely a single moment

One of the most common myths about child abuse disclosure is that a child will tell everything all at once. In reality, disclosure rarely works that way.

Children often share information in pieces. They may hint, test reactions, or say something vague before offering more detail later. This is not a sign that a child is lying or being inconsistent—it’s a normal response to fear, confusion, and uncertainty about how adults will react.

Why disclosure often happens in stages

For many children, telling someone about abuse feels risky. They may worry about getting in trouble, upsetting a caregiver, or causing conflict in their family. Some children feel loyalty toward the person who harmed them. Others fear they won’t be believed—or that things will get worse if they speak up.

Development also plays a role. Children don’t always have the language to describe what happened, especially when the experience was confusing or frightening. As they grow, gain words, and experience calm, supportive responses from adults, they may be able to share more clearly.

Because of this, disclosure is often delayed, partial, or indirect. A child might talk about physical symptoms, express discomfort around a person or place, or make comments that don’t seem to “add up” at first. These are often early steps in the disclosure process.

Why adult reactions matter

When a child tests the waters, they are paying close attention to how adults respond.

Do we listen calmly?Do we take them seriously?Do we stay steady—even when what we hear is hard?

Supportive responses help children feel safe enough to keep talking. Pressing for details, reacting with panic, or expressing disbelief—even unintentionally—can cause a child to shut down or stop sharing altogether.

Adults don’t need to have all the answers. What children need most is to be heard, believed, and supported.

What helps children keep talking

Adults can support the disclosure process by:

• Listening without interrupting or rushing

• Staying calm and reassuring

• Avoiding leading or investigative questions

• Letting the child know they did the right thing by telling

• Connecting with trained professionals when needed

These responses send a powerful message: You’re not in trouble. I’m here. You’re not alone.

📌 What to Do If a Child Tells You Something

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• Listen more than you talk

• Stay calm, even if you’re worried

• Believe them and thank them for telling you

• Don’t promise secrecy

• Reach out for professional help

You don’t have to handle it alone—and you shouldn’t.

How Children’s Advocacy Centers support disclosure

At the Warren County Children’s Advocacy Center, we understand that disclosure is a process—not a moment. Our work is built around meeting children where they are, honoring their pace, and responding in ways that minimize additional trauma.

Whether a child is ready to share everything, or only a small piece, our role is to listen carefully, coordinate next steps with trained partners, and ensure children and caregivers are supported throughout the process.

Learning how to respond matters

Knowing how to respond when a child speaks up is a skill—and it’s one adults can learn.

WCCAC regularly provides prevention-focused education and training for professionals, caregivers, and community members who want to better understand child abuse, disclosure, and supportive responses. Later this week, we’ll be sharing more about our VILLAGE training, which is designed to help adults recognize concerns early and respond with confidence and care.

If you’re interested in training opportunities or want to learn more, we encourage you to contact us.

🐾 A note from Tiger

Tiger, our facility dog, reminds us every day that trust is built slowly. Sometimes kids need time, patience, and steady presence before they’re ready to share more.

If a child tells a little, listen. If they tell more later, listen again.

Telling can happen more than once—and every time matters.